Calling For June!
No, not the month June. I am calling for a friend whom I have not talked to for over seven years! Today I was chatting with another friend on YM, and we both used to close to her and have not heard from her for so long. Unknowing to June, two friends are missing her and are trying to track her down.
June and I, we were classmates for a while before we flew off to UK. It wasn't planned, but we ended up at the same university too. Different courses, but the same faculty. Somehow, along the way, June had a fallout with my good buddy and I was torn in between. It put so much strain on our friendship that we drifted apart. Still friend, but didn't confide in each other anymore. Or share our dreams. Or just sit there giggling over boys. We used to bumped into each other all the time near the campus, at the city centre or at friends place. Somehow, she was there at the airport to send me off home that day in September 1999. That was the last time I saw her or talked to her.
Throughout the past seven years, now and again I will think of her and wondering where she is and how is she doing. Whether she has kids, what are their names. How do they look like.
June was a very beautiful lady. She was the "lemah gemalai" one you know? A Bidayuh girl. My good buddy Joul was *ixr* over her. Understandably so. Even I was head over heels over her! Ok, not because of her good looks la. Because she is such a good person, a superb friend. Like I told my friend today over YM, it was like she was a soul mate.
She was of course flawed. After all, we are humans! Looking back, I don't really understand why we let the fallout between her and Joul affect us. Or why didn't Joul and I fall apart instead of me and her. Why did I have to choose? Of course I didn't choose to Joul over her. But knowing that Joul and I had this undefined friendship, beyond the normal "friends", she wasn't comfortable with me anymore. I guess I reminded her of Joul too much. For years, I remained neutral between them for I loved them both dearly. Yet, one incident, and the three of us just fell apart.
In some ways, June never understood Joul and me. Believe me, if ever something were going on between us, I would have had like five of his kids by now. Seriously. We were close, we were really really good friends. But that was it, I never had eyes for Joul and he never had eyes for me. Nevertheless, I love this man dearly. Even with a wonderful wife and two great kids, I still love him as I did before.
The difference between Joul and June back then, to me, was that Joul fought to have me. He called me endlessly although I wasn't talking to him there (I wanted to remain neutral, you see, so that was my attempts la). He came and visited me. Joul didn't let me kick him out of my life.
June, she just, well she gave up. As so did I. After a while, both of us felt that the strain was too much, and although we didn't verbalise it, we said our goodbyes and went separate ways.
I don’t know what I would have done differently now. Nowadays, I am definitely more selective with friends. For those whom I deeply care about, I go out of my way to maintain the relationships. Probably I wouldn’t have fought for the friend who obviously had her own issues. But at least now I know, I know that I definitely regret that I didn’t give it all, to stand by a friend.
So now, I have enlisted Joul’s assistance to locate her. He was quite weary but promised that he will look her up and hook us back. See, I told you Joul is precious, didn’t I ?
June and I, we were classmates for a while before we flew off to UK. It wasn't planned, but we ended up at the same university too. Different courses, but the same faculty. Somehow, along the way, June had a fallout with my good buddy and I was torn in between. It put so much strain on our friendship that we drifted apart. Still friend, but didn't confide in each other anymore. Or share our dreams. Or just sit there giggling over boys. We used to bumped into each other all the time near the campus, at the city centre or at friends place. Somehow, she was there at the airport to send me off home that day in September 1999. That was the last time I saw her or talked to her.
Throughout the past seven years, now and again I will think of her and wondering where she is and how is she doing. Whether she has kids, what are their names. How do they look like.
June was a very beautiful lady. She was the "lemah gemalai" one you know? A Bidayuh girl. My good buddy Joul was *ixr* over her. Understandably so. Even I was head over heels over her! Ok, not because of her good looks la. Because she is such a good person, a superb friend. Like I told my friend today over YM, it was like she was a soul mate.
She was of course flawed. After all, we are humans! Looking back, I don't really understand why we let the fallout between her and Joul affect us. Or why didn't Joul and I fall apart instead of me and her. Why did I have to choose? Of course I didn't choose to Joul over her. But knowing that Joul and I had this undefined friendship, beyond the normal "friends", she wasn't comfortable with me anymore. I guess I reminded her of Joul too much. For years, I remained neutral between them for I loved them both dearly. Yet, one incident, and the three of us just fell apart.
In some ways, June never understood Joul and me. Believe me, if ever something were going on between us, I would have had like five of his kids by now. Seriously. We were close, we were really really good friends. But that was it, I never had eyes for Joul and he never had eyes for me. Nevertheless, I love this man dearly. Even with a wonderful wife and two great kids, I still love him as I did before.
The difference between Joul and June back then, to me, was that Joul fought to have me. He called me endlessly although I wasn't talking to him there (I wanted to remain neutral, you see, so that was my attempts la). He came and visited me. Joul didn't let me kick him out of my life.
June, she just, well she gave up. As so did I. After a while, both of us felt that the strain was too much, and although we didn't verbalise it, we said our goodbyes and went separate ways.
I don’t know what I would have done differently now. Nowadays, I am definitely more selective with friends. For those whom I deeply care about, I go out of my way to maintain the relationships. Probably I wouldn’t have fought for the friend who obviously had her own issues. But at least now I know, I know that I definitely regret that I didn’t give it all, to stand by a friend.
So now, I have enlisted Joul’s assistance to locate her. He was quite weary but promised that he will look her up and hook us back. See, I told you Joul is precious, didn’t I ?
3 Person(s) Actually Wrote Back!:
June and Joul...
Yeah, I remember them. A particular incident at McDonald where we accidently bumped into June with her 'friend' is sort of stuck in my head. At that time, I like the ice cream in the pie too much. It cost us a quid. Do you remember that..??
I shouldn't be online.. Ibu would freak out on me. All part of the berpantang ritual, but I am SO bored...
Hahah. YES, I do remember. You were just so outspoken ok. Sian dia, she was like, err... err... Lols. And I remember the ice cream on the pineapple pie. Sedapnyer.
Hati org...lain2...People have their own perceptions and all. But to me kan elsa, if two frens really, genuinely care for each other so much, they would resolve whatever/many issues they had even if takes some time to cool it over. However, there are also many cases where to go separate ways could be the best decision when it involves options and priorities.
Ape2 pon, bravo to u and joul for remaining good friends to one another despite the changes in each other's life. I pon penah ade major fallouts. But i am not regretting them much as things were becoming more and more one-sided. To me, when someone starts to force u to just follow his/her own way, very little give and take and less and less respect on what u feel, that will be the moment when i may have to call this friendship off. If they are making efforts to rectify the situation, then i may consider giving another chance but i have to be careful nonetheless.
Post a Comment